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From the Distaff Point of View

  • And your crybaby whiny-assed opinion would be....?
  • Do I look like a people person?
  • This isn't an office. It's Hell with fluorescent lighting.
  • I started out with nothing & still have most of it left.
  • I pretend to work. They pretend to pay me.
  • Sarcasm is just one more service we offer.
  • If I throw a stick, will you leave?
  • You!.... Off my planet!
  • If I want to hear the pitter patter of little feet, I'll put shoes on my cats.
  • Does your train of thought have a caboose?
  • The Bible was written by the same people who said the Earth was flat.
  • Did the aliens forget to remove your anal probe?
  • Errors have been made. Others will be blamed.
  • A hard-on doesn't count as personal growth.
  • A PBS mind in an MTV world.
  • Allow me to introduce my selves.
  • Whatever kind of look you were going for, you missed.
  • Suburbia: where they tear out the trees & then name streets after them.
  • Well, this day was a total waste of makeup.
  • See no evil, hear no evil, date no evil.
  • Are those your eyeballs? I found them in my cleavage.
  • I'm not your type. I'm not inflatable.
  • I have a computer, a vibrator, & pizza delivery. Why should I leave the house?
  • Not all men are annoying. Some are dead.
  • Did I mention the kick in the groin you'll be receiving if you touch me?
  • It ain' t the size, it's... no, it's the size.
  • A woman's favorite position is CEO.
  • I'm trying to imagine you with a personality.
  • A cubicle is just a padded cell without a door.
  • Stress is when you wake up screaming & you realize you haven't fallen asleep yet.
  • Can I trade this job for what's behind door 1?
  • I thought I wanted a career, turns out I just wanted paychecks.
  • Okay, okay, I take it back! UnScrew you!
  • Too many freaks, not enough circuses.
  • Macho Law prohibits me from admitting I'm wrong.
  • Nice perfume. Must you marinate in it?
  • Chaos, panic, & disorder -- my work here is done.
  • I plead contemporary insanity.
  • And which dwarf are you?
  • How do I set a laser printer to stun?
  • Meandering to a different drummer.
  • I majored in liberal arts. Will that be for here or to go?

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