From the Distaff Point of View

• And your crybaby whiny-assed opinion would be....?
• Do I look like a people person?
• This isn't an office. It's Hell with fluorescent lighting.
• I started out with nothing & still have most of it left.
• I pretend to work. They pretend to pay me.
• Sarcasm is just one more service we offer.
• If I throw a stick, will you leave?
• You!.... Off my planet!
• If I want to hear the pitter patter of little feet, I'll put shoes on my cats.
• Does your train of thought have a caboose?
• The Bible was written by the same people who said the Earth was flat.
• Did the aliens forget to remove your anal probe?
• Errors have been made. Others will be blamed.
• A hard-on doesn't count as personal growth.
• A PBS mind in an MTV world.
• Allow me to introduce my selves.
• Whatever kind of look you were going for, you missed.
• Suburbia: where they tear out the trees & then name streets after them.
• Well, this day was a total waste of makeup.
• See no evil, hear no evil, date no evil.
• Are those your eyeballs? I found them in my cleavage.
• I'm not your type. I'm not inflatable.
• I have a computer, a vibrator, & pizza delivery. Why should I leave the house?
• Not all men are annoying. Some are dead.
• Did I mention the kick in the groin you'll be receiving if you touch me?
• It ain' t the size, it's... no, it's the size.
• A woman's favorite position is CEO.
• I'm trying to imagine you with a personality.
• A cubicle is just a padded cell without a door.
• Stress is when you wake up screaming & you realize you haven't fallen asleep yet.
• Can I trade this job for what's behind door 1?
• I thought I wanted a career, turns out I just wanted paychecks.
• Okay, okay, I take it back! UnScrew you!
• Too many freaks, not enough circuses.
• Macho Law prohibits me from admitting I'm wrong.
• Nice perfume. Must you marinate in it?
• Chaos, panic, & disorder -- my work here is done.
• I plead contemporary insanity.
• And which dwarf are you?
• How do I set a laser printer to stun?
• Meandering to a different drummer.
• I majored in liberal arts. Will that be for here or to go?

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