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Twisted Humor

  • One good turn gets most of the blanket
  • Life is uncertain, eat dessert first
  • Dogs believe they are humans. Cats believe they are God.
  • My Karma ran over your Dogma
  • Some mornings it just doesn't seem worth it to gnaw through the leather straps.
  • Out of Body. Back in five minutes.
  • Just because you're smart doesn't mean the other guy is stupid.
  • Your imagination is your preview of life's coming attractions.
  • I love deadlines. I especially like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by.
  • Life is God's way of preserving meat.
  • I put the 'fun' in dysfunctional
  • Baroque(adj.): When you are out of Monet
  • Life is a bitch but some of the puppies are cute.


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