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Why Men Are Glad They Are Men

  • Phone Conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.

  • You know stuff about military tanks.

  • A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.

  • You can open all your own jars.

  • Dry cleaners and hair cutters don't rob you blind.

  • You can go to the bathroom without a support group.

  • You don't have to learn to spell a new last name.

  • You can leave the motel bed unmade.

  • You can kill your own food.

  • You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.

  • Wedding plans take care of themselves.

  • If someone forgets to invite you to something, he or she can still be your friend.

  • Your underwear is $10 for a three-pack.

  • If you are 34 and single, nobody notices.

  • Everything on your face stays its original color.

  • You can quietly enjoy a car ride from the passenger's seat.

  • Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.

  • You don't have to clean your apartment if the meter reader is coming.

  • Car mechanics tell you the truth.

  • You can quietly watch a game with your buddy for hours without ever thinking: "He must be mad at me."

  • Same work - more pay.

  • Gray hair and wrinkles only add character.

  • Wedding dress - $2,000. Tuxedo rental - 75 bucks.

  • You don't mooch off other's desserts.

  • You can drop by to see a friend without having to bring a little gift.

  • If another guy shows up at the party in the same outfit, you just might become lifelong friends.

  • Your pals can be trusted never to trap you with "So, notice anything different?"

  • You are not expected to know the names of more than five colors.

  • You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.

  • You almost never have strap problems in public.

  • You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.

  • The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.

  • You don't have to shave below your neck.

  • At least a few belches are expected and tolerated.

  • Your belly usually hides your big hips.

  • One wallet and one pair of shoes, one color, all seasons.

  • You can "do" your nails with a pocketknife.

  • You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.

  • Christmas shopping can be accomplished for 25 relatives, on

  • December 24th, in 45 minutes.

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