Articles That Support Self-Awareness
and Personal Growth
Leading a Spiritual/Holistic Life
Can Sometimes be Tough
(Author Unknown)
Leading A Spiritual/Holistic Life can sometimes be tough. You see.
. . .
I was having an out of body experience one day so I grounded myself
and got centered with the help of my spirit guides and almost astral
traveled anyway, but the phone rang.
I sensed the negative vibrations so I threw the I-Ching and checked
my numerology chart and nearly had a primal, but my energy was too
blocked, so I did some bioenergetics and self parenting, took some
flower essence and ate an organic oat bran ginseng muffin, but my inner
child wasn't feeling nurtured yet so I had a Rice Dream Frozen Pie
too, but that made me hyper so I did the relaxation response while
listening to my subliminal tapes, but I was feeling depersonalized
so I did some polarity work, foot reflexology and past life regression,
then rebirthed myself and called Moon Beam, the bodyworker, to make
an appointment for a Shiatsu, Reiki, Rolfing, Feldenkreis, Swedish,
Japanese deep tissue massage, but she flaked out and never returned
my call, so I decided to energize my crystals and do some positive
imagery because all my visualization techniques and affirmations made
my space feel invaded, so to get empowered, I got a psychic reading
from Mother HeartLove around the issue of my assertiveness so I could
feel my radiance and have some energy for my psycho-calisthenics and
inversion swing before my harmonic brain-wave synergy session, which
made me more focused for my actualization seminar, holistic healing
class and dreamworkshop, so I'd be more clear for my Gestalt behavioral
cognitive transpersonal Rechian Jungian Freudian Ericksonian session
at the hot springs but my aura was weak for my trance-channeling group
so I fasted until noon to recharge my chakras and I sensed my intuition
was high and my cycle was focused, so I turned on my ion generator
to open up for my neural-linguistic programming session, but I needed
to have my pyramid recharged before my guided synchronicity meditation,
so I got some cranio-sacral therapy, which aligned me for the fire
walk, which was between my tarot card reading and my sensory deprivation
tank appointment, but after all that I felt what I truly needed was
a meaningful relationship to mirror myself so I went to my personal
shaman, and then to my guru, but they were no help, so instead I went
to the Intensive Whole Life Earth Rebirth Cosmic Expo Symposium Workshop
to find someone who really knew what was going on, but that didn't
work either, so I locked myself in a calcium coated Orgone Box and
went to sleep so I could "get it" in the dream state.