Articles That Support Self-Awareness
and Personal Growth

How Not to Ask for a Haircut
( © 2010 Carol James)

We can talk about how to be deliberate creators for all eternity, but it doesn't mean squat unless we live it. So, I'd like to share an example of what not to do.

A few years back I got my hair cut. For most of you, this wouldn't be a big deal, but for me it is. I have straight, fine, blond hair and the slightest cutting mistake screams for the world to notice. When I lived in California I had the same hairdresser for 8 years, and after cutting my hair every 6 weeks for all those years, he always gave me an outstanding haircut. But I had moved to a rural community in northern Arizona and had already been butchered by 3 different people, so I had been cutting my own hair for 2 years. 

One day I met a woman who inspired me to try again, so I scheduled a hair cut with her. Here's how the visit went: I told her what features I liked about my hair, that I wanted the cut to be low maintenance (blow it dry and skidoo), take 3/4 inch off the length, leave sideburns, shape the back in a reverse V and leave a widow's peak at the nape of my neck. Now, here's where I blew it: I told her, "I don't like the sides close-cropped, and although I've often thought about cutting my hair as short as yours -- 1 inch all over, which looked great on her and very low maintenance -- I'm don't want to go that short."

Here's what I got: my sideburns are gone, the sides are so short that they don't cover my ears anymore, I didn't get the reverse V or the widow's peak, and my hair overall is shorter than it's been in 30 years.

What have I learned? More clarity about the details would have been good, my methods for communicating what I want to another can use improvement, when asking for what I want, omit the details about what I don't want (duh!) and NEVER tell a hairdresser I like her short hair.

The good news is that she gave me a great haircut from a technical perspective (which is what I originally expected), so I did get one thing I wanted.

It's a good thing my hair grows like a weed.

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